I just stumbled upon a site that really made me laugh – the Waterfall Manifesto.
The authors explain…
“If you want to keep your job, we strongly recommend that you follow these principles:
- Your highest priority is to take no initiative for which you could be blamed. Taking no initiative at all would be even better.
- Changing requirements are a pain in the ass, moreover late in development. Let it be known to the customer and make him pay dearly for just thinking about change.
- Do not deliver working software frequently, because this could make the customer change his mind (see above).
- At regular intervals, the team should meet to eat pizzas and drink beer. It helps developers to forget that they are working on a bloody software development project and confirms that the management really care about people. (they do not mention pizzas and beers in the other manifesto, think about it…)”
… and there are more!
Read the full list of Waterfall principles at http://www.waterfallmanifesto.org/?principles
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